When You Fall Apart

It’s not unusual for an epic meltdown to be the catalyst for clients to start working with me. As professionals, we are trained to balance and juggle so many difficult and challenging things and we’re really good at it. So why is it that sometimes, we just fall apart, despite our best efforts to keep it all together? The answer might surprise you.

During any given day we experience approximately 60,000 thoughts. Each of those thoughts generates a vibration within our bodies we refer to as emotions or feelings. We have happy thoughts, angry thoughts, fearful thoughts, each creating conflicting emotions within us. Whether those thoughts are conscious or not, the energy created by our thinking courses through our bodies.

Furthermore, as women, we seem innately pre-dispositioned to take on more than is humanly possible. We juggle our families, our personal lives, our careers, and the majority of our home life responsibilities. In order to handle all of those things , we rarely allocate time for ourselves. This includes taking time to be fully present with our experiences, including our emotions. This is where the problem begins.

When those 60,000 thoughts and associated energies become overly charged, we become powder kegs ready to explode. Whenever we have an experience in our life that creates negative thoughts, those thoughts also invite powerful energy into our bodies in the form of corresponding emotions (fear, guilt, anger, worry, shame, etc.). When we don’t acknowledge the presence of that energy and emotion within us, the energy lingers and builds overtime. In other words, when we push aside our emotional expression and just keeping forging ahead, the energy grows stronger.

What you resist, persists.

It’s almost as if our bodies are tea kettles full of water and each negative and powerful emotion coursing through us increases the temperature and thus the pressure within that tea kettle. The more we ignore those sensations and emotions, the higher the temperature climbs, and more pressure builds. Over time our ability to control that pressure and contain all of that energy lessons.

Holding all of that energy within ourselves is a matter of simple will power. We show up every day, we do the work, we tick through our To Do List and we just keep pushing. Every time our brain calls our attention to those painful/frustrated thoughts and emotions we simply redirect and redirect and keep going. In time, our ability to do this in the face of significant and powerful energy wanes. Will power is a finite resource and it’s no match for the powerful energy that wells up within us. This is why we can go through difficult experiences and challenging times and just keep going without a meltdown. Yet weeks or months later, we are hit with a ton of bricks and completely fall apart. Eventually, our ability to contain the emotion expires, that energy catches up with us, and the tea kettle starts screaming.


If this sounds familiar to you, you are not alone. The only way to truly succeed in the legal industry is to develop a deeper understanding of your brain and your emotions. Through that work, we are able to understand and dismantle the cycle of meltdowns and fully take control over our success. Join us. It all starts with a free consult.


The energy that we create within our bodies from our thinking and our emotions will not resolve itself. That energy needs to be honored, examined, and released. It will not simply go away on its own. It stays stuck within us and within our bodies wreaking havoc all its own. In addition to the impending meltdown, consider what that constrained energy is doing within your body. It’s no wonder that when we continue this path of pushing down emotion and moving forward we find ourselves getting sick or experience other physical manifestations of illness within our body. We cannot live a life ignoring this aspect of ourselves and forcing powerful energy to remain unseen behind our happy facades. 

In order to prevent eventual meltdowns , we have to invest in the full human experience.

We have to honor ourselves and make time to process and release the emotions that accompany all experiences of our lives. We must be present with, invested in, and fully experience those emotions. When we give space to our experiences and pay attention to what is happening within our hearts, minds, and bodies it is freedom. Not only does it honor our experience but it allows the energy to diminish and move through you. If you think of this energy as a toddler vying for your attention, you know that it will only get louder and louder until you listen to it. If you acknowledge it early and honestly, its time with you and its impact on your life will lessen.

This patterning is often associated with the grit and tenacity that we as women utilize and leveraged to create the success that we currently experience in our lives. That grit fits well within the scheme of pushing down emotion and continually pressing forward. In order to succeed in the next phase of our lives, we have to recognize that grit and tenacity can only get us so far. If we want to truly succeed in this life we have to be willing to experience all aspects of life including negative emotion. To do otherwise is to simply delay the inevitable melt down.