Life & Career Coaching for Lawyers
Life & Career Coaching for Lawyers
People pleasing tendencies. We’ve all got them. It may seem like simple Midwest Nice but at it’s core, people-pleasing is rooted in deception. When we put the needs and feelings of others before our own, we relegate our truth. We relegate our voices and we implicitly acknowledge that we are less important that those we are desperately trying to please.
In any given day, many of us find ourselves in situations where we are uncomfortable. (If not, we should talk.) In those moments, a large part of the discomfort comes from our worries about what others are going to think about us and what they are going to make the conversation mean. How do you navigate those worries and fears so that you can show up authentically you?
If I could teach my clients how to change other people, I would. You are never going to succeed in changing other people. So when it comes to other humans, coaching is largely about putting down the boxing gloves and walking out of the ring.
Humans are social animals. There is a part of us that is drawn to community. So when a seed is planted that we are not liked, it’s easy to become consumed with worries and fantasized arguments with others. Not only does this waste your energy in the moment, it’s typically unwarranted. When we get curious about our “I’m disliked” fantasies, we can uncover the root of the issue.
Have you ever considered what it is that makes a relationship? Is it set of standards we keep for ourselves and the other person — promises we commit to upholding? When I say I have a relationship with someone what does that even mean?
The practice of law is challenging and, for better or worse, the practice of law usually requires interactions with some very *challenging* humans. While we truly believe that we have been belittled and treated unfairly, it is not productive to set up camp with those thoughts. So what do we do instead
Our relationships with the people in our lives are at the root of every challenge in our lives.
Our relationships with others play a significant role in our happiness. How do we improve those relationships and overcome adversity in our relationships?
When we ignore our negative emotions and bury them under anger, we ignore what is really going on. We deny ourselves our own truth. Without experiencing those negative emotions and those associated thoughts, we can never shift away from anger to something more productive…but how?!
Whether you are a practicing attorney or engaged in another profession, horrible bosses are a thing.
Why is it that we have such a hard time working with certain people?
What role do we play in this interpersonal tug-of-war?
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